Since having Andrew, I often get asked the simple question, “How is having two?”. It’s a hard question to answer in passing with friends because there is SO much I could say. For starters…
My heart has never been more full. It is amazing how it can literally grow with each child. Just when you think you could never love someone else as much, you do. And then, you see your children interact with each other and your heart swells again. Watching Knox get so excited when Andrew hits the tiniest milestone (like opening his eyes after sleeping most the days away in the beginning) gets me so excited for them to have a built-in best friend, cheerleader and brother to walk through life with. I have a sister who is two years older than me and I can tell you first hand, there isn’t anything better than knowing you always have someone to count on, no matter what.
But just when I think they have this brother thing down, Knox has a moment of jealousy and tells Andrew to get back in my belly or ask him”What you doin in my house?” And those were some of the cuter sibling rivalry moments. The not-so-cute-ones are when Knox has a full on melt down wanting me to hold him and to put baby Drew down. (This usually happens when Andrew is hungry, and I am nursing him so it isn’t possible for me to fulfill his request.) Or when Knox decided to ‘tickle’ Andrew’s forehead and leave claw marks behind. Twice. In these moments, I get a small glimpse of the ups and downs of what our future will be raising two boys so close in age. (And I call Fred tired and frustrated asking him when he will be able to make it home from work.)
And then there is the balancing (or trying to balance) act of adding another (precious) responsibility to our day-to-day. I was starting to feel like I had things figured out with Knox (as much as you possibly can ever feel this way). I was confident in my abilities as a mom, we were getting settled in our home, Houston doesn’t feel new anymore, and we found a school and nanny we love to help with Knox in the morning so I can get some work done, but still spend the afternoons with my family. (Knox goes to a ‘mother’s day out’ two mornings a week and we have a nanny three mornings a week). I loved our slow morning snuggles and breakfast in bed until it was time to get our day started. I loved having something outside of my family that I am passionate about and that gives me purpose. I love that I can still work in the industry I love while helping to provide for my family. But most of all, I loved getting to spend the majority of my day with my family. Of course, my to-do list and inbox was always overflowing and there were things on there that will honestly never get done, but over all I felt like I was getting by okay.
Fast forward two months in to being a mom of two, I can’t say the same. I am confident I will find that balance again, but now we are still taking it day by day. Andrew is still nursing every 3 hours (on average) so I am still pretty exhausted in the mornings. He is such an easy and happy baby that I am able to get things accomplished while he plays or naps, but those little windows between feedings aren’t the most productive when you are still changing diapers, retrieving dropped pacifiers, and getting in all the snuggles you both need. I am sharing this today because so many people have commented, emailed or asked in person how I am doing it. They say I make it look so easy. Well, here is my honest answer to that…
It is my job to make it look easy. People don’t come to HOUSE of HARPER to see a messy house or dark circles under my eyes when I have been up all night with a newborn. (But I can assure you they both exist.) So, my house is always the cleanest on days I am shooting new content and that’s what concealer and sunglasses are for. I created this space to be a place of inspiration so I usually stick to the good and edit out the bad and the ugly. But hopefully today (if you made it this far down), you can find some inspiration in knowing things aren’t always perfect, but I don’t expect them to be. And I certainly don’t accomplish what I am able to accomplish alone. I slowly realized after having Knox that it is okay to ask for help. I get by with the village I am blessed to have around me (because it does take a village, at all times). My husband, FMK, is hands-on and is a huge help when he isn’t working. My MIL is just a phone call away when things pop up at work or if one of the kids is sick. I know Knox is in good hands for four hours each morning so I can focus on Andrew and getting a blog post live (on a good day). And my family is just a car ride away and they are always willing to make a trip to see us. (My mom tagged along with me and Drew this weekend for Create & Cultivate Dallas so I could take part on the ‘Art of the Pitch’ panel. Since I am still nursing, she brought Drew so I could sneak away for feedings every few hours.)
After a weekend full of inspiration and an opportunity that wouldn’t have been possible without the support of my family, I thought it was the perfect time to share a little glimpse behind the pretty pictures. Thanks for taking the time to share our journey through HoH. I love reading your comments and connecting with you all!
xo, CHK
Photographed by Ailee of Snapshots by Ailee Petrovic
Outfit details: top: Kate Spade | pants: ASOS | shoes: Steve Madden | handbag: Celine (available in stores) | ring: David Yurman | sunglasses: celine | bracelets: Brandy Pham, J.Crew, Rebecca Minkoff | lipstick: Nars | Stroller: c/0 Bugaboo
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Caroline, your blog gives readers a moment of grace and beauty. Readers realize that your blog presents an image of life which, like a good film or painting or photograph, is idealized, and that it takes considerable effort (sweat, pain, and tears) to accomplish. The beauty is in making it appear graceful.
Every day, tell Knox that Andrew is going to be his best friend for life. And every day, remember that you’re a hero to your family.
I’m sorry I didn’t comment on this sooner, I definitely read it when you posted it. Thank you for always being such a supporter of me & HoH! xo
Caroline, I’m not a “comments section” type of person, but I just had to reach out and say thank you for this post today. My daughter is also two months and I just started back at work. Hearing that I’m not alone in going a little mad from “having it all” is beyond refreshing and much needed. Your pictures are always so beautiful. Best wishes and continued success.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment when your plate is so full! I hope things have starting to fall back in to place (and you are getting some more sleep)!
Love this post and love you. You are an awesome Mom, wife and daughter! Keep smiling!
I have the best example. 🙂
As one of my best friends in college always told me, “you’re doing great”! Loved this post and am sending you a hug from NY!
Thanks sweet friend! Miss you! xo
Rediscovering balance (or rather, reinventing it anew,) after a big change is a huge mountain to climb!
Sharing the challenges as you have here gives us all a little space to be easier on ourselves during those times. 🙂
Thank you, I hope so. We all deserve a little more grace.
Thank-you for sharing! I love your blog! I am the mom of 3 and remember the days you are describing!
Your family is beautiful and your children are blessed to have you as their mom.
Praise to you! We have always wanted three, but I think it is going to take me a few years before I will feel like I can do it again. 😉 Thanks for your sweet comment!
Caroline, you rock! You are such an inspiration to me and all of the other ladies that look up to you. You are doing one amazing job and I hope you have the best day!
Thank you for the sweet and encouraging comment!
I loved this, Caroline! I so appreciate how candid you are about creating inspiration on this site, and how honest you are about how you don’t always have it “all together.” Thank you so much for sharing!
Kelly | Kelly in the City
Thanks Kelly! I hope people always remember blogs are a place for inspiration, not a accurate picture of everyday life. 😉
While I don’t even have one yet, I always love reading about others experiences. It truly helps to put my mind at ease that others have successfully done it. One day… great post!
Xo Ally
http://www.allysoninwonderland.com